Help Me Obi Wan Obama, You’re My Only Hope!

Great.  First John King of CNN with his amazin’ touch-screen computer, and now Wolf Blitzer with his “Jessica Yellin Hologram.”  Do CNN gimmicks ever end?  It would have been nice to watch Jessica talk about the incredible turnout at Obama’s victory rally, but Blitzer was too fixated on the wonders of hologram technology:

“Alright, uh, there she is, Jessica Yellin, I know you’re in Chicago but we’ve uhhh done something, a hologram. We beamed you in. We beamed you in, here, uhh into the CNN Election Center. I want to talk to you as I would normally be talking to you if you were really face-to-face with me. I know you’re uhh at least a thousand miles away, but it looks like you’re right here.

I mean, Wolf just wouldn’t shut up about the stupid hologram.  I knew that there was a good reason I switched years ago to MSNBC.  No offense to Blitzer, but we true geeks have seen this as early as 1977 in “Star Wars,” and watch it regularly every time the doctor makes an appearance in “Star Trek Voyager.”  Sorry Wolf, but this isn’t new to us:

Thank you God for having me stick to MSNBC tonight.

The wonderful band of smartasses at Wonkette mentioned this while liveblogging the election returns:

7:15 PM — OH JESUS CHRIST TURN ON CNN, THEY HAVE HOLOGRAPHIC HUMAN TECHNOLOGY AND HAVE EMPEROR PALPATINE “ON THE SET”!
7:17 PM — Wolf Blitzer: “You know what I like about this hologram … you’re a hologram now, Jessica.”
7:17 PM — This is terrifying pornography.

Jim N.
HAHAH WATCH CNN
Sara S.
Jesus Christ it is like shitty Star Trek
Jim N.
there is a princess leia “help me obi wan kenobi” image talking to wolf blitzer
Sara S.
That is so retarded
Jim N.
this is so horrifying!
Sara S.
Just awful
Ken L.
CNNN WHT THT HTHE FUCK
Ken L.
“Yes, My Master, what is Thy Bidding” …
Ken L.
She’s even flickering like the Emperoro
Ken L.
oh my god
Ken L.
this is awful
Jim N.
god, if they’re going to do this, they could at least make it look somewhat professional
Jim N.
i think i am too scared to watch CNN
Ken L.
“you’re a hologram now jessica”
Jim N.
it’s also like an 80s music video.
Jim N.
HAHAHA
Juli W.
oh she looks like that movie waking life

7:21 PM — Indiana, too close to call.
7:24 PM — We have switched to MSNBC, because dear god, the Flickering Witch Monster on CNN is the scariest motherfucking thing we’ve ever seen.
7:25 PM — But then we have to go back, to see John King and his wizard’s map.

McCain Campaign Down the Toilet – Joe the Plumber Trying to Fix It

John McCain’s campaign is running like a broken toilet, and his campaign surrogate “Joe the Plumber” seems to be proving to America why he doesn’t have his license.

This “expert” on everything American appeared on Neil Cavuto’s show on FoxNews Sunday in an attempt to cast doubts on Obama’s loyalty to the US.

Confidential to Joe the Plumber:  We’re sick of you.  Yes, we thought it was cute when McCain mentioned your name at least 25 times during the third debate.  We even liked The Daily Show’s take on you the next night.  Weeks later though, we just have to say that it’s old.

Here’s a reality check:  You’re an unlicensed plumber from Ohio with nothing of any profundity to add to the political table.  You speak in gross generalizations and when somebody pins you down, you try explaining away that it’s only your opinion.  If you could at least give us some cold, hard facts regarding your opinions and make a case for your allegations, we might actually take you semi-seriously.

Anyway, here is the expert himself on why Barack Obama doesn’t seem loyal to the US:

Shepard Smith at FoxNews of all places, tried to pin down this “plumber’s helper” as to why a vote for Obama is a vote for the death of Israel.  From “The New York Times:

For five painful live-on-Fox minutes the next day, Mr. Smith repeatedly asked Mr. Wurzelbacher what evidence he had to back up that charge. Mr. Wurzelbacher refused to answer. He said it was up to Mr. Smith’s viewers to figure out why he, Joe the Plumber, thought Mr. Obama was a menace to Israel.

A visibly shaken Shepard Smith had to offer a disclaimer to Fox viewers:

“I just want to make this 100 percent perfectly clear. Barack Obama has said repeatedly and demonstrated repeatedly that Israel will always be a friend of the United States no matter what happens once he becomes president of the United States. His words.”

He ended his disclaimer with, “man, it just gets frightening sometimes.”  Amen Shep.

Don’t get me wrong Joe the Plumber.  I’m sure that you’re a whiz with PVC pipe.  I just don’t need your political analysis for the same reason that I don’t need a cable news political pundit fixing my septic tank.  Let’s face it.  James the Political Blogger doesn’t appreciate blowhards who don’t know what they’re talking about elbowing their way into his turf.  Thankfully, I’ll have to put up with you for two more days before you go back to Ohio to live in obscurity.

In the 1999 book “Our Dumb Century” by The Onion, life as the saying goes, imitated art.  The following satirical headline appeared in the book almost a full decade before the 2008 election:

Thanks to John McCain’s sound judgment, we as a nation are living this satirical headline.  Mission accomplished.

Could someone please explain to me why McCain and the mainstream media decided to validate this nutjob’s take on politics?  Poor McCain.  Looks like Joe is trying to fix McCain’s broken campaign, but is breaking it even more.

The Third Debate Was Recorded

The third and final debate of this Presidential election seems to have been recorded.  The following is footage from the debate:

.

Many thanks to Marc Ambinder of “The Atlantic” for jokingly pulling my leg with his headline, and providing this wonderful footage.

So now we know where John McCain got his strategy.  Stay tuned to see if McCain uses “The Penguin” strategy when he takes the stage to whip a black man.

Okay.  The actual quote is that he’ll “‘whip‘ Obama’s “you-know-what.”  So much for spin.

How Did This Fly Under My Radar?

I am loving all of the digital advertising over at McCain central.  First, John McCain wins debate the morning before the first Presidential debate, and now this gem:

Many thanks to the online publication, “Wonkette” for bringing this to light.  In my 40 years of living on this earth, this has got to be the weirdest campaign I’ve ever seen.

Palin Called “Fluffy Bunny” Her Comments, “Racially Tinged”

Today, Douglass K. Daniel of “The Associated Press” called Palin’s remarks about Barack Obama in her recent fiery stump speeches racially tinged.  He cites these quotes from the Alaska Governor:

“Our opponent … is someone who sees America, it seems, as being so imperfect, imperfect enough, that he’s palling around with terrorists who would target their own country … “This is not a man who sees America like you and I see America.  We see America as a force of good in this world.  We see an America of exceptionalism.”

Palin of course is questioning Obama’s association with William Ayers, a man who Obama had denounced long ago.

Here’s the article:  AP: Palin’s Ayers Attack “Racially Tinged”

I actually laughed when I read the part of the article where he writes,

“It’s a giant changing of the subject,” said Jenny Backus, a Democratic strategist. “The problem is the messenger. If you want to start throwing fire bombs, you don’t send out the fluffy bunny to do it. I think people don’t take Sarah Palin seriously.”

Oh really Ms. Backus?  I have video that suggests otherwise:

Nobody expects the Palin resurrection.  Perhaps if that strategy doesn’t work, they could use “The Holy Hand-grenade of Antioch.”  Hey, however way you want to throw those firebombs.

So McCain released the pitbull, fluffy-bunny or whatever she’s being called today to go after Obama.  I was expecting this in the final month and with almost impeccable timing, the attacks are unleashed.  Historically, it has always been in the final month of the election when the candidates go after each others character.  To be fair, Obama has been going after McCain for being “erratic” during the financial meltdown.  McCain is not at all taking this lying down, complaining that Obama is smearing him because of his age.  Obviously, McCain must not have seen what conservative columnist George Will and Sam Donaldson said of him the other week on “This Week with George Stephanopoulos” that almost mirrored Barack’s claim:

Get ready folks.  We’re in the final stretch and boy, is this going to get ugly.  As I live in a solid red state, I won’t have to endure nearly as many campaign commercials interrupting my viewing of “CSI.”  My thoughts go out to all of those in the swing-states who will have to endure the commercials and stump-speeches in their respective home states.

My thanks to the comedy troupe, “Monty Python” for allowing me to loosely use their footage, and sincere condolences to former Python, Michael Palin for the misfortune of Sarah having the same last name.  My heart goes out to you.

The Front Fell Off!

I was whiling away the time on my computer, when I got a notification that a friend stumbled me a site from “Stumbleupon.”  I find it to be quite a useful feature on Mozilla Firefox.  With a click, you can send friends sites that you “stumbled-upon” and vice-versa.

This video was absolutely hilarious.  It reminded me of the sketches that Monty Python would do; very cerebral, yet very silly.  I imagined that John Cleese himself could have written this sketch and performed it as the interviewee.  It had a distinct “Cleesian” style to it.

The duo are an Australian team named “Clarke & Dawe,” spoofing an actual Greek tanker incident wherein the bow section of the tanker actually fell off. The incident occurred in 1991 and John and Brian perform a really funny send-up of it here.

I think that the real humor here is that the politician being interviewed could be any politician trying to weasel out of a tough interview.  Such things will always be relevant, and certainly are right now:

SNL’s Couric/Palin Interview

Today is Sunday, and I was going to relax all day visiting a few sites, then watch some “Mythbusters” on DVD.  (I am a huge fan)

Instead for your viewing pleasure, (I decided to keep today a little more lighthearted)  I offer last night’s Saturday Night Live opening sketch with Tina Fey of course as Palin, and Amy Poehler as Couric.  This was too good not to post.

Yes, comedians are having fun with her as they did with George W. Bush.  Keep in mind however that if she is elected, we as a nation may be paying dearly for the laughs we get.

I suppose I’m going to have to link it as it is difficult if not impossible to display the video here.  Damn! McCain’s people are good:

SNL Palin-Couric Interview

On the McCain front, we have a video of McCain uttering the word, “horseshit” under his breath during Friday’s Presidential debate in response to Obama asserting that McCain would not meet with the Minister of Spain.  Sorry for the expletive everyone, but it’s his word not mine.

So much for cool and collected.  Will someone please remind him that it is not allowed to utter profanities during a Presidential debate?  God!  This election just keeps getting better and better:

I will now resume my Sunday relaxation already in progress.