Help Me Obi Wan Obama, You’re My Only Hope!

Great.  First John King of CNN with his amazin’ touch-screen computer, and now Wolf Blitzer with his “Jessica Yellin Hologram.”  Do CNN gimmicks ever end?  It would have been nice to watch Jessica talk about the incredible turnout at Obama’s victory rally, but Blitzer was too fixated on the wonders of hologram technology:

“Alright, uh, there she is, Jessica Yellin, I know you’re in Chicago but we’ve uhhh done something, a hologram. We beamed you in. We beamed you in, here, uhh into the CNN Election Center. I want to talk to you as I would normally be talking to you if you were really face-to-face with me. I know you’re uhh at least a thousand miles away, but it looks like you’re right here.

I mean, Wolf just wouldn’t shut up about the stupid hologram.  I knew that there was a good reason I switched years ago to MSNBC.  No offense to Blitzer, but we true geeks have seen this as early as 1977 in “Star Wars,” and watch it regularly every time the doctor makes an appearance in “Star Trek Voyager.”  Sorry Wolf, but this isn’t new to us:

Thank you God for having me stick to MSNBC tonight.

The wonderful band of smartasses at Wonkette mentioned this while liveblogging the election returns:

7:15 PM — OH JESUS CHRIST TURN ON CNN, THEY HAVE HOLOGRAPHIC HUMAN TECHNOLOGY AND HAVE EMPEROR PALPATINE “ON THE SET”!
7:17 PM — Wolf Blitzer: “You know what I like about this hologram … you’re a hologram now, Jessica.”
7:17 PM — This is terrifying pornography.

Jim N.
HAHAH WATCH CNN
Sara S.
Jesus Christ it is like shitty Star Trek
Jim N.
there is a princess leia “help me obi wan kenobi” image talking to wolf blitzer
Sara S.
That is so retarded
Jim N.
this is so horrifying!
Sara S.
Just awful
Ken L.
CNNN WHT THT HTHE FUCK
Ken L.
“Yes, My Master, what is Thy Bidding” …
Ken L.
She’s even flickering like the Emperoro
Ken L.
oh my god
Ken L.
this is awful
Jim N.
god, if they’re going to do this, they could at least make it look somewhat professional
Jim N.
i think i am too scared to watch CNN
Ken L.
“you’re a hologram now jessica”
Jim N.
it’s also like an 80s music video.
Jim N.
HAHAHA
Juli W.
oh she looks like that movie waking life

7:21 PM — Indiana, too close to call.
7:24 PM — We have switched to MSNBC, because dear god, the Flickering Witch Monster on CNN is the scariest motherfucking thing we’ve ever seen.
7:25 PM — But then we have to go back, to see John King and his wizard’s map.

How the Race is Shaping Up So Far

At this time, Obama is leading McCain 200 to 90 with California having yet to weigh in.  California with 55 electoral votes has been a historically blue state.  Given the McCain campaign this year, I doubt he’ll win California.  That will put Obama at 255 with 15 electoral votes left from any of the remaining states.

The only state that Obama has flipped so far has been Ohio.  Although losing red states, he has garnered more votes in the traditionally red states than Gore or Kerry.  I can confidently say that this will not be a close election.  This will be a mandate for the Democrats.

In other news, alleged godless Sunday School Teacher Kay Hagen (D) beat Elizabeth Dole (R) to win her Senate seat in North Carolina.  Kudos to Hagen’s guts to stand up to Dole bearing false witness to her Christian faith.  To Dole, you reap what you sow.  Shame on you for breaking the ninth commandment stating, “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.”

Minnesota’s Senate race between Al Franken (D) and Norm Coleman (R) is still too close to call, though Franken is winning.  Go Franken!  Make this the Al Franken Decade!